spirits?

So I had a weird experience Tuesday night, and I don't know whether it was a hallucination or whether it was in fact real. My husband and I run a game night every Tuesday, and our friends and us play a game until midnight. By the time they leave, it's 12:30 and my husband and I go up to bed. Usually, this activity stirs up the baby and sometimes he notices his binky has fallen out of his mouth and he cries for it. If he doesn't stop crying on his own, I go in and put the binky back in his mouth. This happened Tuesday night. I went into his room and as I walked in I could see a dark shadow right next to the crib. It was about five feet tall and only about a foot and a half or two wide. As I saw it, the cat ran in and ran under the crib. I quashed my fears and went over to the crib (right where the shadow had been) and fixed the binky situation. Then, the cat darted out from beneath the crib and ran out of the room.

This is not the first time I've felt... someone... in the room when I go in there at night. Jakob also has been waking up more frequently lately, which might be due to a growth spurt or desire to practice what he's learning, or it might be that something disturbs his sleep. Jared also has noticed something in the room when he goes in there at night, and has a feeling that it is his grandmother watching over the baby. I don't know quite what to make of this. Our house isn't "haunted" per se, but in the past our CD player has turned itself on randomly. And, it turns itself on the tape setting, even though the last time the player was on it was playing the radio or CD (the radio setting turned itself on once and scared the crap out of Jared's sister, also leading me to believe it's some relation of Jared's).

The thing that bothers me though is that I don't know if it's really a spirit or if it was just a visual hallucination because I was tired and when you first go into a dark room your eyes take awhile to adjust. The hallway was NOT lighted, so I ruled out that it was my shadow. The shadow was... darker... than the darkness around it.

This is just the latest in a string of events that lead me to suspect that I might be a haunted person. I've "sensed" spirits for most of my life, although I've only seen them twice - once when I was four and once Tuesday night. What other paranormal events have happened in my life?

When I was four, I was laying in bed unable to sleep one night. I was laying on my back, but I rolled over to my side to face out into my room. Just then, I saw four beings of light roaming around the room. They were about toddler-sized and didn't have any describable features. I was getting scared, but I stayed frozen in bed until one came over to the side of my bed, right in front of my face. I freaked out and ran out of the room. My mother attempted to calm me down by telling me that the moon was shining through my window and making weird shapes. Yeah right. Independently-moving patches of light, shining through a second-story window.

Many years went by before I felt any weird feelings. The house my mother bought in Michigan when I was 16 always creeped me out. It creaked and moaned as it settled. I was sure most of the time it was the natural house settling sounds, but there were times I felt like I was being watched or thought I heard someone walking in the hallway. And the lights flickered whenever I mentioned ghosts or angels. (I freaked my friends out once because we were talking about my guardian angel and I started to imagine her and described her to my friends - just then the dining room light flickered.)

College was really when my feelings started kicking in. I went to a college that was not "haunted" in that there were no documented deaths and resulting paranormal activity. I however experienced my "feelings" several times. My first year, I felt watched in the library, and I was pretty certain I knew who it was who was watching me - with almost as much certainty as one who recognizes a friend on the street. The other experiences stemmed around the one dormitory I lived in and the academic building.

The dormitory I lived in for three of the four years was shaped like a U. I lived on one arm of the U, and the office was on the other end. My options were to walk all the way around the U or cut across the courtyard. Well, the courtyard isn't a good option if it was cold or if you want to bring a vacuum from the office to your room. So, I walked through the U. In the connecting hallway, though, I always felt followed. And not just followed - followed very close. So close, I could almost feel something breathing on the back of my neck. Being a fan of Ghost Hunters, I have since decided a lot of this feeling was probably driven by the fact that the breaker box was in this hallway - I'm sure I must be sensitive to electromagnetic energy.

The academic building was different. I had two distinct experiences there. In the first, I was taking care of the experimental rats - feeding, changing their bedding, etc. One night I was bending over the food bin to get food for them and I heard a loud bang (the thermometer had fallen off the wall) and as soon as I heard that bang, I instantly felt millions of little eyes fixed on me. And the rats were DEAD silent. Not a peep. It creeped me out so much I pulled the food bin out from the wall and put my back to the wall to get the rest of the food and I didn't turn my back on those rats until I left the room. The second experience was another feeling. I frequently felt watched in the main hallway in the psych department - it was in the basement after all. I actually hated going down there after 7 PM because I felt it everytime I went down there. One time, I went with a friend because he needed to scan some pictures. When we left, we walked down the hall and I suddenly felt like I was being watched. I turned around and of course nothing was physically there, but I felt a presence at the end of the hallway staring at me. Then I felt that it wanted to hurt me. I ran out as fast as I could and my friend just couldn't understand what I was talking about. I nearly had a panic attack I felt so afraid.

My first year in Pennsylvania I lived in a nearly-brand-new townhouse. It was only one year old. I had the basement room. I felt stuff in that room on occasion. There were a few nights I actually had to sleep with my lamp on because I felt like I was being watched - almost like it was a growling dog. I didn't hear anything, only sensed it.

I then moved into a house, which was much better for me. I still felt watched though, but not as often. I tried to not go downstairs very often because I also felt watched down there.

Here, I have felt watched. Sometimes, I have sensed a presence on the stairwell as I am in the living room. I don't go to the kitchen at night without turning on lights. Nearly everytime I go downstairs at night I feel like something is following me when I go back up the stairs. Sometimes, I feel the presence in the baby's room and sometimes I've felt it staring at me from the doorway into my room. It's not "bad"... it's just weird. This place is not very old - it was built in the 70s, so it's not very old. Given my history, I'm starting to wonder if it's me. There's been an increase since I started going with Jared, and a definite increase since Jakob was born. I don't know whether it's just that my mind is doing it or if it is real.

Two years ago I went to a workshop at a paranormal conference and discovered that I have some talent for psychometry. My "partner" in the exercise handed me his silver armband and I accurately described his girlfriend, who gave him the armband. Of course, my other "feelings" about him derived from the band were incorrect (where he lived, his family life, his school life, etc.) I would like to try to practice this skill. I have no other paranormal skills that I know of. I almost wish I did. Jared has dreams, as does his mother. I almost wonder if my experience when I was four scared me so much that I can no longer see spirit activity. I also wonder how much electromagnetic energy affects me. Perhaps that is what is causing all of this - fluctuations in emf fields. I'd like to think not.